Recently I came across a blog entry on The Wonder Love (written by Indiana Adams of Adored Austin) that sort of hit home. The resounding message: Being a mom is HARD. It was such a relief to hear someone else say it. Such a rare occurrence in the world of mommy-blogging. I mean....there are the occasional "I'm having a bad day" or "My kid is annoying me" confessions, but it's not often that moms admit the struggle. The feelings of failure.
So this is me admitting it too. I'm struggling.
This past week was a rough one. Lyla seemed to be crying (I'm talking red-in-the-face, can't-catch-her-breath kind of crying) every evening, allllll evening. Not gonna lie, it sucked. It is so frustrating not knowing what is wrong when your baby is crying. Thankfully Amanda shared with me the "5 S's" (swaddling, side/stomach lying, shhhh, swinging, sucking) and they were a quick fix for a moment of relief during a crying spell, but I couldn't help but think there was something else I was doing wrong.
Sunday night (after much prayer and contemplation) I figured it out.
I had been worried that I wasn't producing enough breast milk and had started taking a herbal supplement, fenugreek, that supposedly helps increase milk production. I googled "fenugreek, fussy baby" and sure enough, a slew of results showed up. A definite correlation between the supplement and adverse reactions in babies. So. We're done with that. Yesterday I had my pleasant baby back and I felt like super mom.
Today she is throwing fits again.
Being a mom is HARD.
But then she curls on my chest after I've nursed her, and nuzzles her head under my chin. Moments like that make it all worth it.